Covered

My God is a God of abundance. I literally tattooed a reminder to my arm. It’s true. Even while we are waiting, we are not lacking. Just like the Israelites in the desert. We can lean on Him for all we need and believe in His promises.

God has been delivering on His promises to us recently, and I wanted to share the incredible beauty that can come from broken places. The once in a lifetime kind you wouldn’t choose to pass up. Even if it was a rough journey to get there.

In February of this year, my pastor asked our church how often we actually expect great things from God. We expect the God of the Bible to do great things. We can believe He sent angels to deliver His messages, that He parted the Red Sea. But that was a different time. We expect them of God where other people are concerned. The God who answers the prayers of people we know. But He must favor them. Truly, how often do we expect God to do great things in our lives? How often do we even ask Him to? Or believe that He will come through once we’ve made the ask?

I felt so convicted.⠀

I wondered... have I not really asked? Does He not know how much I want a baby? Have I not been specific enough? Have I prayed for healing or for necessary finances? Have I prayed for the right thing? I’ve prayed a million prayers over our infertility, and He knows my heart... but maybe I really haven’t believed that He would show up for me.

I prayed right then and there asking God for great things, big things, huge things, miracle things. For us. For me. I asked Him and I believed.⠀

...Covered.⠀

That is the word that came to me as I spilled out my messy words, as quiet tears lined my face.⠀

You are covered.⠀

Whatever is to come... whether we would need money to do IVF, peace to just keep waiting for a miracle, healing in our bodies... whatever happens next in this story that God is writing, we are covered.⠀

A few months later the theme for #NIAW2019 (National Infertility Awareness Week) was announced - #InfertilityUncovered. Yes, it was referring to insurance (which is seriously lacking in our country. I am also fighting for changes where that is concerned), but I read it and giggled a bit at the irony. I knew that God called us covered.

Here we are nearly half a year later pursuing IVF. We knew we would be paying “out of pocket” and we wondered where the money would come from. But again, I knew that we would be covered. So, my husband and I looked our fears in the face and said yes. And oh, won’t He do it! My God who has walked with me every step of this infertility journey covered us in the most beautiful way. Through our community. Our tribe who have lifted us up, who have literally opened their own pockets, who have stepped up to say they are believing with us. 

I have never felt more cherished, more loved in my life. And without infertility, I don’t know if I ever would have had this experience, known this level of complete gratitude. Because of you, we are covered. You, our tribe, have done this, have given us this chance. Even though you get nothing in return. (We thought about a raffle to choose our baby’s middle name, but... we know y’all). I will never be able to repay your generosity, but I will spend the rest of my life gratefully seeing God’s abundance and living as open handed as I possibly can.

We truly love you. Thank you for loving us so well. 💜